The Kmiec Ramblings

Tag Archive: Personal

Will This Be Your Year?

Written on January 1, 2012 by Adam Kmiec in Misc.

The dirty little secret about New Year’s Eve is that it never lives up to the hype. The kiss is never as good as you hoped. The champagne more flat than you’d wished. The people less genuine than you’d remembered. We dress up, we plan weeks out in advance because the last thing anyone wants is to be alone on New Year’s Eve. As the clock draws closer to midnight on the 31st, the entire world sets it’s gaze on Times Square. Because, wherever you, regardless of the time zone, the new year arrives, when the ball drops in New York City. It’s a fact…a tradition.

Ball Drop At Times Square

Now, the feel good version of New Year’s Eve is that we gather to ring in the NEW YEAR. But, I’ve always had a long standing contrarian point of view to this. I think we’re so eager to see the date of the calendar advance forward to 1/1, that the reason we numb ourselves with glass after glass, the reason we fix our gaze on the clock is less about ringing in a New Year, but more about forgetting the previous year.

Think about it. Why do we make resolutions? Often our resolutions carry over year to year. They are reminders of all that we did not accomplish. The New Year eschews in hope. It creates a clean slate. It allows us to forgive our mistakes, overlook our transgressions and absolve our sins. Amazing what a simple change of the date can do, isn’t it? This has been the way of it, year after year, since we started the rich tradition that is “ringing in the New Year.”

So, what will you do in 2012? Will you make it YOUR year? Come December 31, 2012, will you look back on 2012 with regret and with an “I wish I had” or “if only I’d?” Or will you rise above the coulda, woulda, shoulda and instead look back with smiles and celebrate the year that was…and in doing so lament that the ball is dropping and the calendar will soon march forward to 2013?

I know that I’m already planning for 2012 to be something to remember. As said in the movie Serendipity:

You know the Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they only asked one question after a man died, ‘Did he have passion?’

Tags: Personal

My Love Affair With New York City

Written on December 5, 2011 by Adam Kmiec in Misc., Travel

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The Empire City, The City That Never Sleeps, The Big Apple, Gotham City and the Concrete Jungle. All nicknames for the greatest city in the world, New York. They say if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And why not? New York city is tough. It moves at a pace that overwhelms and demands your very best all the time. We love our heroes, but are just as quick to boo as we are to cheat, if we don’t think we’re getting their best effort. The streets aren’t paved with gold, but not unlike a rainbow each street may lead you to a pot of that shiny coin. I’ve been in love with this city of dream makers and dream takers since I first breathed it’s air in 1979.

I was born in Brooklyn. My fondest childhood memories almost always have a New York City connection. Learning to ride a bike, watching the Mets beat the Sox in the ’86 World Series, the Bronx Zoo, laying on my back at The Museum of Natural History and wondering how they got that big blue whale in there, our version of a beach, drinking quarter water, eating real pizza from L&B, sitting on the stoop outside my grandparent’s house with my cousins in the Summer or chasing down the ice cream truck still stick out today, fresh in my mind as the day they happened. Keep in mind all of this happened before I was 7.

As I grew older, my romance with “the city” grew stronger. After we moved to New Jersey, I lamented not being able to walk, bike or take a train to my desired destination. I missed the diversity of sounds and would gladly have traded my sky full of stars for the neon and bright city street lights. Many weekends, during my adolescence, were spent in New York. Even today I remember the excitement I had when we’d start crossing the Brooklyn Bridge. It meant we were almost there.

In college, my parents would ship me real New York food, over night and packed in dry ice so that I could enjoy a little bit of home. Bagels, pizza, pastrami, cheese cake and rainbow cookies were just a few of the reoccurring deliveries. The wide eyes and big smiles of my friends as they sampled the goods still make me smirk.

Come this time next year, I will have lived in Chicago longer than I ever lived in New York. My time spent living in the Midwest is more than twice as long as my time spent living in the concrete jungle. Yet, despite that imbalance of time, I’ve never considered myself anything other than a NEW YAWKAHR. It’s become quite the excuse for why I am who I am and why I act like I do. I think fast, I move fast, I eat on the go, my patience for lines caused by people’s indecisiveness is non existent, I cross the street when there are no cars…not when the light says walk, I speak my mind even if what I say will sting and of course I believe anything is possible.

I love bringing people to New York. Even if it’s not their first time visiting, the experience is usually memorable. Because to see the Big Apple through the eyes of a real New Yorker is to see the city like it aches to be viewed…with a slice in one hand. Last year one of my best friends, a true Midwest girl, who now lives in New York City, showed me my city through her eyes. What a treat. I visited places I’d never been to, ate food I’d never enjoyed and experienced the city like an explorer. Honestly, that trip was one of my best trips back “home.”

The city and I have a love affair like I’ve never had with any person. Ironic, since the city served as a backdrop for falling in love with young lady…once upon a time, as we strolled through the village, stopping to steal a kiss in the park. Like a Woody Allen or Scorsese film, if you took away the city, the story would still be there, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as emotionally riveting.

True story, I know that it’s more of a “woman” thing to dream about your wedding day. But, I’ve always imagined getting married in the city I’ve always loved. On the famous Bow Bridge, during the fall as the leaves burst with shades of red, orange and yellow was where I always envisioned it would happen. Why the Bow Bridge? For starters it’s located near the center of Central Park…the heart beat of the city…geography-wise. The bridge has a limit for the number of people who can be on it during the service. By design, this forces you to choose only the people who matter most. In a city of millions, you’d be sharing one of the most important moments of your life with only a handful. There’s something beautiful about that juxtaposition.

Traveling the world is great. London, Paris, Rome; I know these places. I walked the cobblestone of Paris, alone the Senne, while eating a warm baguette…it is no substitute for a warm bagel and the pavement running through Central Park. The same goes for the gelato I ate in Rome while strolling amidst monuments and buildings that were born during the great Caesar’s rule. For a moment these places capture your interest. But, they never capture your heart like New York City will.

New York is the only real city-city. Whether you believe it’s the heart of the universe or not, there’s no denying that New York has an unparalleled pulse, an excitement that’s contagious.

Those were the brilliant and eloquent words of Truman Capote. He said in 2 sentences what I’ve been rambling on about for the past 8 paragraphs.

I think the only thing I’d add to Truman’s sentiment is that after you’ve experienced the greatest city in the world your perception of every other city will change…nothing will ever live up to New York City and all that it has waiting for you to see, feel, touch, taste and remember.

Tags: New York, Personal

25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Written on February 23, 2011 by Adam Kmiec in Misc.

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A while back there was that crazy Facebook meme focused on getting you to share 25 things about yourself. I admittedly participated. I’m not proud of it, but participate I did. A new friend remarked to me the other day that she really doesn’t know that much about me because I’m not the kind of person who shares things. I scoffed. Has she not read this blog I’m an open book.

On some level she’s right. I’m no the type of person who will simply tell you my life story…and don’t worry I’m not going to do that here. But, I am going to share some random facts about me that hopefully give you an idea of who I am, beyond what Google says:

1. Growing up I wanted to be a lawyer.
2. The first sport I played was Soccer.
3. I’ve been in 5 fights and won them all, but one.
4. My favorite game is Monopoly and I’m always the car.
5. I think Oswald was innocent.
6. My favorite animal is the Eagle.
7. I voted McCain/Palin after voting Hillary in the primaries.
8. There are 5 states that I’ll never live in.
9. I hated beer up until 4 years ago.
10. My favorite word is robust.
11. I never had a MySpace account or Classmates.com account, but I did have a dogster account.
12. I wish they’d bring back Crystal Pepsi and Orbitz. They were both exceptional drinks.
13. When I was 16 I could dunk a basketball. When I was 17 I stopped being able to.
14. If I miss the previews for a movie I’ll wait till the next showing.
15. I lack any and all musical talent. I’ve tried playing the recorder, clarinet, violin and piano.
16. Joey should have chosen Dawson and Kevin should have married Winnie.
17. NYC Pizza over Chicago Deep Dish.
18. I became an organ donor after watching the movie 7 Pounds.
19. My karaoke song is My Way by Frank Sinatra.
20. I desperately want to go skydiving.
21. Lights on over lights off.
22. British version of The Office over the US version.
23. I always wanted the coyote to catch the roadrunner.
24. My favorite college basketball team is the University of North Carolina, but it’s not my alma mater.
25. I like my tea cold and sweet, like they do in the south.

Tags: Facebook, Meme, Personal

Am I OK?

Written on April 11, 2010 by Adam Kmiec in Family, Misc.

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I feel like I’ve been getting that question a lot lately from friends (virtual and real), colleagues and family. Some have been direct. Others have just given me that look that begs for an answer…some response…some indication…some acknowledgement.

95% of the content on this site is geared toward marketing, advertising, social media, interactive and things of a professional nature. Every so often though I’ll sneak in a post about my family. After all they are just as much a part of who I am as the accomplishments I’ve accumulate over the years. But, I know you don’t visit my site for that content. Yet, you tolerate it. With that I ask you to tolerate one more post about my family.

My wife and I are getting a divorce. Yes, a divorce. It’s strange to see that word on the screen. It’s a word I never thought I’d mention in the context of my own marriage. But, there it is.

You know, I hate failing at anything. I hate losing at anything. It doesn’t matter if the stakes are small or large. I simply hate losing. Divorce is the ultimate loss. Because on many levels it’s as if you’ve failed at life. When you get a divorce you’ve failed your significant other, their friends, their family, your friends, your family and your kids. But, most of all, you’ve failed yourself. After all, no one goes into a marriage thinking they’ll get a divorce.

So when you get a divorce it means you’ve failed.

I don’t take failure lightly. I’ve never failed at the same thing twice. It’s never happened and I don’t intend on it happening. As to what that means, I’m not sure…yet.

So am I OK?

You know, as strange as it is, I am. There are people who focus on what things aren’t, instead of what things are. I don’t do that. I’ve know Cheryl for 12 years. We met in Spring of 1998. I often joked that Cheryl new me when I was an asshole and she still married me. And if that ain’t love, what is?

She was my best friend. She picked me off the ground when I failed and pushed me to better than I was the previous day. She was also there to root me on and champion my successes. Cheryl has a tender touch and a big heart. There’s a certain warmth that overtakes a room when she enters. Strangers instantly become charmed and everyone rests at ease. As a mother, there is none better. Our kids know love, compassion and caring. It’s a reassuring fact when I’m not home, on the road and traveling.

No divorce is ever easy regardless of how “civil” or “amicable” it is. Failure in this case doesn’t mean a mistake though. My marriage wasn’t a mistake.

In 7 years of marriage there were good days and bad days. You can’t spend that much time with someone and not have a mix of ups and downs. The biggest ups of course were John and Cora. You can’t help but look at them and know that despite a marriage that ends in divorce, it was worth it and then some. John and Cora are the bridge that will keep us connected and in each other’s lives. For that I’m thankful.

Life is full of changes. This is just another one. Change while often difficult can be a good thing. I’m convinced that this will eventually be something I can look back on and know that while difficult, was a good thing.

Tags: Personal

Significant Moments

Written on December 26, 2009 by Adam Kmiec in Misc.

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Perhaps the fictional character, Moonlight Graham, said it best in the movie Field Of Dreams, “You know we just don’t recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they’re happening.” It’s true. We’re so focused on moving from one moment to the next that we fail to see the magnitude of the current moment. It’s only later on in life when we look back do we actually take the time to salivate over those moments. But, let’s be honest, as time marches forward our memories fade and the indelible truths of that moment are re-written or even worse, forgotten.

In one of the greatest episodes of The Sopranos, ironically titled “Remember When” Tony scolds Paulie for looking back and reminiscing. With such disdain he utters, “remember when is the lowest form of conversation.” When I watched this live on HBO, I recall thinking, “damn that was harsh.” But, the more I think about it, I tend to agree with Tony’s feelings…albeit for different reasons. See, I think the reason remember when is lowest form of conversation is because we should have been talking about the moment…while we’re in the moment…instead of waiting 20 years to talk about that moment. Remembering the moment later on in life instead of giving it the acknowledgement it deserved while it was happening, cheapens the moment…making it the lowest form of conversation.

It would be nice to know when we’re in the middle of one of those significant moments. But, that would make it too easy. To know the gravity of the moment is no easy task. We often hear sports stars talk about how they rarely realize when they are in the moment. They know when they’re in the zone, but knowing when they’re in the moment often escapes them. When Jordan dropped 63 on the Celtics in the playoffs he couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of that moment. How could he? After all, Bird hadn’t yet said, “that was God disguised as Michael Jordan.”

See moments happen every day. Our days are nothing more than a series of moments strung together. And you’d think that amongst all the moments, the really special ones would stand out. Sometimes they do, but often times we’re already advancing to the next moment that we haven’t even taken the time to savor the significant moments.

As I think back on my own life, it’s tough to pick out the significant moments. The only two I’m sure of, are Cora and John being born. Beyond that, everything just seems to flow together. This isn’t to say that I haven’t had some major, even life changing, moments. But, I’m not sure if any of them were “significant.” Lately, I’ve been trying to pay more attention. I’ve been trying to take stock of each moment. I think there’s a few recent moments that will eventually qualify as significant.

I know this sounds like a “stop and smell the roses” type of post, but it isn’t. Stopping to smell the roses when the roses aren’t part of the moment, misses the whole point. The point is to take 5 minutes, put the iPhone down, turn off twitter, and log out of facebook. Then spend 5 minutes in the real world and soak it all up. One of those 5 minutes just might be a significant moment.

Tags: Advice, Field Of Dreams, Movie Quotes, Personal, Sopranos

The Art Of Patience And Vengeance

Written on September 27, 2009 by Adam Kmiec in Marketing & Advertising, Misc.

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For the most part I’m not a really patient guy. I tend to lead with my gut instinct and let the chips fall where they may. 99% of the time this works for me. It’s on rare occasion that my gut has failed me. Even the mistakes I’ve made because of my lack of patience have often been small. The number of times my mistakes have been major can be counted on 1 hand.

One of my major character faults has always been the inability to let something go. I hold grudges for years. True story; I stopped talking to one of my best friends from high school because he didn’t ask me to be in his wedding. I literally stopped talking to him for 3.5 years. The killer was, when I finally talked to him he explained that the reason he didn’t ask me was because it would have meant a lot of travel between Chicago and New Jersey (where the wedding was). In short, he was looking to save me time, money, and effort. I felt like a complete idiot after he explained the situation to me.

I’ve gotten better with the grudge situation. I’m less inclined to hold a grudge over something trivial. But, when you maliciously wrong me or my family, I don’t just hold a grudge, I turn that grudge into vengeance.

In 2004 I was living in Chicago with Cheryl. The house we were living in needed some tuck pointing work done. Being relatively new to the area, but very web savvy I opted to use Service Magic to find a company that would do the tuck pointing. We interviewed 4 companies and chose a smaller outfit with good references, that also ended up being roughly 1/3 cheaper than the other 3 bids. We paid 50% up front and were set to pay the remaining 50% after the job was completed. The owner/project manager estimated it was a 4 day job and they would start on Saturday. Very cool I thought. They were cheap, fast, and had a solid reputation.

The team arrived bright and early on Saturday and made some progress. They left at 4pm and indicated they’d be back tomorrow (Sunday) morning. They showed up around 10 am and left unexpectedly by 1 pm. To be fair it started raining and if you know anything about tuck pointing, you’d know that tuck pointing in the rain sucks.

Well they never showed up on Monday (Day 3). I called the boss and he didn’t return my call on Monday. They didn’t show up on Tuesday (Day 4). I called the boss again and again he didn’t return my call. Finally on Wednesday after I left several messages, he called me back and basically told me they underbid the project, he wanted more money, had no plans to send his team back over until he received more money, and was planning to keep the 50% deposit I gave them.

As you can imagine, I was little irked by this. At this point, we’re several days behind schedule, he has 50% of the payment, and I’m being shook down. My blood was boiling, but I tried exercise some patience. I explained to him that I was willing to let bygones be bygones, but he owed me the 50% back since he backed out of the project. He essentially told me to go screw myself and that I wasn’t going to see a dime. I countered with, I’ll sue you for the money. His rebuttal was, “good luck, it’ll cost you more in court than what I owe you.”

This was a mistake on his part. A serious mistake. See, I tried to be civil, but he crossed a line. You can’t just maliciously screw with me and get away with it. I exercised some serious patience over the next two days. See, I have friends, just like you have friends. And in addition to friends, I’m like a relentless doberman when you cross me. So here’s what I did:

Talked with Service Magic to understand my options
Tracked down his on-record business license
Called the city and county offices where my house was located and where his business was located
Talked to a few of lawyer friends, all of whom weren’t going to charge me anything

That Friday, I gave him a call from a different phone number than I had been using. He picked up and explained to him he had two options.

Return my money to me
Face a wrath that he couldn’t imagine

His words were, “go fuck yourself.” Clearly he chose #2. Not a good move.

The following Monday, I set a bunch of wheels in motions:

Service Magic suspended his account. By suspending his account he was no longer able to receive leads and any current jobs needed to be stopped immediately. If he was using the same 50/50 split on other projects, this meant he was out a lot of cash.
His business license didn’t allow him to do work in my county, it only allowed him to do work in the city and county where the business was licensed. Big mistake on his part, because now the county/city where I was living was very curious about how much work he had been doing illegally in their city. They coordinated with the city/county where his license was registered in and had his license suspended. In other words he couldn’t even do any work legally in the city/county that he was able to do before; now he couldn’t work anywhere…legally.
I asked my lawyers to file both criminal charges (in their haste to take back their equipment, they took some of my stuff) and civil charges.

So later that week, this jerk who I’ve been dealing with, got an amazing shit-burger to eat from the city, county, Service Magic, and some lawyers. Well, my phone was blowing up left and right from the boss man himself. I let him sweat it out for a day and the called him back. As you might imagine, he was very much wanting to resolve the situation quickly and amicably.

Now, I had done my homework. Because the lawyers weren’t going to cost me a thing, there was no reason to call them off. I couldn’t call the city and county off; their investigation was irreversible. The only thing I could do was talk to Service Magic and let them know things were resolved; but even doing that would still leave him with a permanent strike that would hurt his ability to generate revenue from Service Magic.

So, I promised him the following…if he came back that night with a cash payback, I’d do what I could. As you might imagine, he showed up that night, wearing bells, and carrying cash.

Ok, so why the long piece of history? Well, at the time, my wife thought I was a bit crazy, but recently we ran into another situation. Someone tried to maliciously screw with not just me, but the family. I gave this person multiple opportunities to fix things and set them right; more specifically, I afforded them the opportunity to walk away, just like the above situation. I wish I could share more, but unfortunately, it’s not something I can discuss openly here…yet.

All I can say is, if you thought the above showed an act of vengeance, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Tags: Advice, Home Repair, Personal, Service Magic