I feel like I’ve been getting that question a lot lately from friends (virtual and real), colleagues and family. Some have been direct. Others have just given me that look that begs for an answer…some response…some indication…some acknowledgement.
95% of the content on this site is geared toward marketing, advertising, social media, interactive and things of a professional nature. Every so often though I’ll sneak in a post about my family. After all they are just as much a part of who I am as the accomplishments I’ve accumulate over the years. But, I know you don’t visit my site for that content. Yet, you tolerate it. With that I ask you to tolerate one more post about my family.
My wife and I are getting a divorce. Yes, a divorce. It’s strange to see that word on the screen. It’s a word I never thought I’d mention in the context of my own marriage. But, there it is.
You know, I hate failing at anything. I hate losing at anything. It doesn’t matter if the stakes are small or large. I simply hate losing. Divorce is the ultimate loss. Because on many levels it’s as if you’ve failed at life. When you get a divorce you’ve failed your significant other, their friends, their family, your friends, your family and your kids. But, most of all, you’ve failed yourself. After all, no one goes into a marriage thinking they’ll get a divorce.
So when you get a divorce it means you’ve failed.
I don’t take failure lightly. I’ve never failed at the same thing twice. It’s never happened and I don’t intend on it happening. As to what that means, I’m not sure…yet.
So am I OK?
You know, as strange as it is, I am. There are people who focus on what things aren’t, instead of what things are. I don’t do that. I’ve know Cheryl for 12 years. We met in Spring of 1998. I often joked that Cheryl new me when I was an asshole and she still married me. And if that ain’t love, what is?
She was my best friend. She picked me off the ground when I failed and pushed me to better than I was the previous day. She was also there to root me on and champion my successes. Cheryl has a tender touch and a big heart. There’s a certain warmth that overtakes a room when she enters. Strangers instantly become charmed and everyone rests at ease. As a mother, there is none better. Our kids know love, compassion and caring. It’s a reassuring fact when I’m not home, on the road and traveling.
No divorce is ever easy regardless of how “civil” or “amicable” it is. Failure in this case doesn’t mean a mistake though. My marriage wasn’t a mistake.
In 7 years of marriage there were good days and bad days. You can’t spend that much time with someone and not have a mix of ups and downs. The biggest ups of course were John and Cora. You can’t help but look at them and know that despite a marriage that ends in divorce, it was worth it and then some. John and Cora are the bridge that will keep us connected and in each other’s lives. For that I’m thankful.
Life is full of changes. This is just another one. Change while often difficult can be a good thing. I’m convinced that this will eventually be something I can look back on and know that while difficult, was a good thing.
Head of Social Media at Walgreens. Interactive marketer, innovator, boat rocker, continuous learner, movie lover, risk taker, dad and all around good guy. I'm always up for a spirited conversation. These are my thoughts and ramblings, not those of my employer.
