Opinions And Ramblings By Adam Kmiec On All Things Media

This isn’t a work of fiction.  This isn’t a lie.  This isn’t a stretch of the truth.  This is, in fact, a 100% completely true story of how the Pittsburgh Yellow Cab Company essentially held me hostage for roughly 30 minutes.

Let’s start with the definition of “hostage,” just to make sure we are all on the same page.  Webster defines a hostage as:

• a person held by one party in a conflict as a pledge pending the fulfillment of an agreement
• person taken by force to secure the taker’s demands

My trip into Pittsburgh was going amazingly well.  The flight from Chicago took off on time, arrives 15 minutes early, there was a cab waiting, no line for the cab and we made it into Pittsburgh quickly.  I was just praising the gods for all this great fortune, when things took an abrupt turn toward crazy town.

The cab driver stopped at the MARC USA Pittsburgh office and read me the fare; $34.00 and change.  I pulled out my Discover Card (it’s my card of choice and I’ve used it for every cab ride I’ve ever taken from and to the Pittsburgh airport) and handed it to the driver.  The driver snapped his head back at me, pursed his lips and in a clearly irritated tone said to me, “I don’t take Discover, only Visa or Mastercard.”  I mumbled under my breath, that this was ridiculous and the said to him, “well, that’s the only card I have.”  This was technically a lie.  I had my Visa CheckCard that’s tied to my banking account; however I never use that card for cab rides.  In the past I’ve witnessed and heard of stories where a vendor/service will run up charges once they have your CheckCard info.  I should also mention that the Yellow Cab website clearly indicates that they do in fact take Discover Card.  But, I digress…back to the story.

The driver snapped back to me and said, “Bullshit, I want my money now.  You’re not going to rip me off.”  Woah, this totally caught me off guard.  I was completely confused.  At this point, I said, “Well, there’s an ATM over there (roughly 15 feet away), I’ll go there and get you your money.”  That seems fair, right?  Well, not to this guy.  No sooner had I put my hand on the door handle to exit the cab, the cab driver locked the doors and yelled to me, “no, no, no, I’m not going to fall for this trick.”  Huh?  So I was literally locked inside the cab and couldn’t get out.  Perplexed, I tweeted, “I’m locked in a cab. My cab driver wont let me out because I gave him Discover Card.”  While tweeting, the driver told me that he’d be calling the cops.  I was getting more confused by the moment.  I once again reiterated my request that he let me out so that I could get his money from the ATM.  But, he ignored my commentary and proceeded with dialing 911.

Well, I guess not to be outdone, I tried calling the Yellow Cab customer service line from my cell phone 3 times.  However, each time, my call automatically was sent to voice mail.  There was no one, not one single person, actually manning the customer complaint/service line.  Well, so much for customer service.  15 minutes went by and I realized he had not turned the meeter off.  I pointed this out and was then cursed at and told that it was not my place to tell him how to use his cab.  WTF, right?  Ok, it gets better.  I then said to him, “look, just let me get out so I can get your money and we can then both put this behind us.”  At this point, the driver of Yellow Cab 159 went further into crazy town.  He, said that he was going to sue me for lost wages, because I was the one causing this situation.  Huh?  No, seriously, huh?

I continued to ask to be let out of the car and finally he agreed.  Great, I thought, I grabbed my bag and attempted to leave the cab.  I should point out, the cab was a mini-van with sliding doors on each side.  I attempted to exit from behind the driver’s side.  The driver then demanded I leave my bag with him.  Ummm, no.  The bag had an iPad, Mcbook Pro, a few expense checks and some other personal items.  I declined and that’s when he grabbed me and tried to pull the bag off of my shoulder.  I then slid back into the car and exited out of the door behind the passenger’s seat.  I made my way to the ATM, grabbed $40.00 in cash, brought it back over and asked for a receipt.  He refused to provide a receipt unless I gave him the money.  Again, strange, but at this point, nothing was phasing me.

This is when it got even stranger…the cops showed up.  Yes, I said cops.  See, he had apparently called 911 twice.  The first officer on the scene was alone.  He was quite helpful and very cordial. I wish I had taken down his info, because he deserves a medal.  He asked me what happened, I explained the situation and he apologized.  He then went over the cab driver, got his story, came back and agreed to procure the receipt from the cab driver in exchange for the money.  Not a problem.  I gave the officer $1.25 (I’d already given the cab driver the $40.00 from the ATM).  The officer provided the cab driver the $1.25, got me my receipt and again apologized.  This is when a police van showed up with 2 or 3 (I can’t recall) additional officers.  They were a bit late to the party

The officer advised me to call the cab company, talk to a supervisor and explain the situation.  I called again and again was dropped right into voicemail.  I’m sending a link to this post to the cab company and will let you know what happens.  Talk about a crazy Friday; and it wasn’t even Friday the 13th.

Do you want to eat lima beans and broccoli or do you eat them because you think you should? Ditto on working out, getting your boss a Christmas gift, sending a thank you card, attending your wife’s best friend’s wedding, and oh so many more examples.

Whenever someone does something I unfortunately feel the need to critically evaluate their intent. Are they doing it because they want to do it, or are they doing it because they think they should do it. Obviously, I value want over should. I want you to want to do things instead of doing them because you think it’s the right thing to do. I want you to send that thank you card because you genuinely want to, not because you think you’re earning points, making a good impression or doing the “right” thing.

How much better, simpler and more genuine would the world be if people only did the things they want to do instead of doing the things they think they should do? Heck, even if we went to an 80/20 or 70/30 split between want and should; things would be better.

The irony is, I’m guilty of doing things I don’t want to do…Yes, I’m raising my hand and turning myself in. I’ve done things because I felt like I should. It’s frustrating and I kick myself in the ass right after I do it. It’s a tough habit to break because it’s become a natural part of everyday life. Society expects and demands a certain amount of “fakeness.” And that’s just tragic for a society that also demands honesty and transparency

When you’re growing up and living under your parent’s roof, you’re constantly in a mode of asking for permission.  CAN you go out on Friday night?  CAN you paint your room blue?  CAN you have some money for new jeans?  CAN your friend sleep over?  The hierarchy that’s in place, puts kids in a position to ask for permission and parents in a position to grant or deny it.  This is not disimilar to when you first start out in your career.  You’re constantly fearful of doing the “wrong” thing (aka what your boss wouldn’t prefer…even if it’s the right thing) that you end up asking someone if what you want to do is ok, acceptable, what the client would like, what your boss would approve, etc.  Unfortunately, in both cases (as kids and young professionals) this places us in position where we aren’t able to grow…where we aren’t able to build a relationship based on mutual respect.

As times marches on the dynamics of our relationships with our parents and employers/supervisors change.  The defining moment for most kids of course is when they go to college or get their first job.  Once you’re no longer living under “their roof” there’s less of a need to ask for permission to have a glass of wine at lunch, eat cereal for dinner, drive 600 miles to see a concert, fly to Europe, spend an unnecessary amount of money on a new pair of shoes, etc.  You have your own money and your living your own life.  The concept of asking for approval ceases to exist and our parents become people who’s support is requested.  We want their endorsement…their validation that the choices we make are the right ones.  When we have their support we feel better about the decisions we’re making.  After all, if they didn’t support it, it wouldn’t be a good decision, now would it?  That’s of course tongue in cheek.  Guess what?  We have the same evolution at work.  Once we have enough experience, and more importantly, CONFIDENCE, under our belts, we’re able to shift from asking our supervisors for approval and instead we start presenting them recommendations.  With those recommendations we’re looking for their support, not their permission…not their rubber stampt, not their approval. It’s such an inspiring dynamic when that shift happens.  We start believing that we finally have this “job” figured out.

Support and approval are not the same thing.  I don’t call my mom anymore asking for her permission to buy a new car.  Instead I call looking for her thoughts, opinions, feedback and advice on what car to buy.  It’s a different dynamic.  With my current boss, we have a great honest and open relationship where I can present her ideas and recommendations that are 1/2 to full baked.  Those ideas are presented with a confidence and tone of that says, “this is the right thing to do.”  She can then shape, augment and make these ideas better.  We don’t have a relationship where I’m presenting ideas looking for permission to execute them.  It’s a beautiful thing and one of the things I love about my role at MARC USA.

There is no right or wrong time to make this shift from permission to support.  Personally, I think we’d be better off if it happened earlier on in life than later.  It’s a tough switch to make, but one that will change your relationships and career for the better.