Opinions And Ramblings By Adam Kmiec On All Things

Category Archives: Funny

25 Random Things About Me

I’ve resisted this insane concept and craze for a long time. But, when you consider how big it’s gotten, I felt compelled to participate. For those of you not in the know about 25 Random Things About Me phenomenon, you can read up on it here, here, here, or here.  In short, 25 Random Things About Me is a chain letter program. Person A lists 25 random facts/things about them. They then tag people in the list.  The people tagged are then supposed to repeat the process…they create a list, they tag people, etc.

Someone tagged me on Facebook and I refused to participate.  Like I said, I’ve put it off for a long time, but now I’m going to participate, albeit in my own way.  I’m not going to put the list on Facebook, thus circumventing the process of the phenomena 🙂  I’m calling it a personal victory!  Without further adieu here are 25 Random Things About Me:

  1. I clean while I cook because I hate a mess.
  2. I’m long waisted; even though I’m 5’9″ my inseam is 30″.
  3. I work in a paperless office.  Seriously, no paper, ever.
  4. Nike is the only sneaker brand I’ll buy.
  5. I’ve been using the same AOL instant messenger handle since AOL 1.0.
  6. On an average day, I sleep for 5 hours.
  7. My first car was a 1987 Toyota MR-2; I still scan Ebay every once in a while for a used one so I can buy and restore it.
  8. If given the choice between being blind or deaf, I’d take deaf.
  9. I have a ridiculously large collection of offensive T-shirts.
  10. When I was in high school I could dunk a basketball.  Really.
  11. The day when Madden Football is releases every year is a holiday for me.  I take it off and spend the entire day setting up rosters and drafting a team.
  12. I’m a vodka snob. If offered Sky, Smirnoff, Absolut, etc. I’ll decline.
  13. I’m not a fan of voicemail. I loath it’s existence.  If given the choice between emailing someone or talking to someone, I’d take the digital communication.
  14. I don’t drink coffee, only hot chocolate.
  15. I can read books ridiculously fast. 400 page books get knocked out in about 2.5 hours.
  16. I think there’s a big difference between truth and honesty.
  17. I hold grudges for years; probably too long.
  18. I’m not a fan of following the heard.  For example, I avoided watching Lord of The Rings for nearly 6 months.  I watched it in a nearly empty theater and loved every minute of it.
  19. I’m a huge Beatles fan.  To me they aren’t just a band, they’re an iconic BRAND.  From shirts, to hats, to CDs I’ve got a massive collection.
  20. I love change. I’ve owned 3 houses and lived in 3 states in the last 6 years; and I’ll be on to state number 4 shortly.
  21. I find great meaning on movies and music.  There’s a tremendous amount that can be gleaned, quoted, and shared from films and songs.
  22. Strange, but my shoe size when I was 13 was 13, but now it’s 10.5.  Crazy. Are shoes just being made bigger these days?
  23. My dream job is working behind a bar in Costa Rica…granted it’s a bar that I’d be owning.
  24. I love speed, one day I will drive on the Autobahn.
  25. I just became an organ donor.  Never was before.  However, for some reason, I decided to do it when I got my Minnesota driver’s license.

Well there ya go, that’s 25 Random Things About Me.

2008 Top 10 Buzzwords

So the New York Times has a list of the top political buzzwords in 2008.  They did a nice job of picking through a see of words and terms to create a short list of the best.  Trying to pick the top 10 marketing buzzwords of 2008, wasn’t easy either.  I’m sure I’ve left some great ones off the list.

  1. Transparency: I loathe this term.  Just can’t stand it.  It’s over-used and often used incorrectly.  I’ve already talked at length why I have problems with the term, so I’ll try to make it quick here.  People don’t want transparency.  They don’t want to see how the hotdog is made.  I promise you, no one wants to see meet crammed into a casing.  However, they do want to know that the nutrition label is accurate and a fair representation of what’s in the hot dog.
  2. Conversation/Dialogue: How many times did you hear, “we need to start a conversation.”  Or, “it’s about having a conversation.”  Yawn.  It takes two people, at a minimum, to have a conversation.  If you’re having a conversation with yourself, I have someone you should meet with 🙂  There’s 24 hours in a day and with all due respect we/me/you/they don’t want to have a conversation with your/their company.  Do you really want to talk with person X at Sprint?  Guess what?  Sprint doesn’t want to have a dialogue with you either.  There isn’t enough time in a day to have a real conversation or to carry on a dialogue for several days.  We don’t want story telling, we just means for communication.
  3. Micro-Blogging: Sigh.  Whoever started this needs to be shot.  People, for whatever reason, feel the need to put things into defined boxes that they can make sense of something.  That’s exactly what happened with micro-blogging.  Someone realized they didn’t understand things like Twitter and decided to give it the phrase micro-blogging.  Do you realize how silly we sound?  While we’re at it, let’s create the term mobi-sode for video content viewed on a mobile device.  Yes, that sounded dumb 🙂
  4. Streaming: “Hey, I’m live streaming right now.”  Hey, that’s great.  I remember in 1999 when the term streaming was big.  Broadband penetration was increasing and content was actually being streamed.  This whole concept of people life-streaming, live-streaming, etc. is silly.  Please stop saying it Michael Arrington and Jason Calacanis 🙂
  5. User Experience: It’s all about user experience.  Well duh.  We aren’t selling products to ourselves.  The fact that the concept of user experience has been created in a functional discipline, with people billing themselves as user experience experts is mind boggling.  You know who’s a user exeperience expert?  The user.
  6. Integrated: Oh boy, what a whopper.  We’re a full integrated agency.  We need to make sure the creative is integrated.  Sigh.  Creative shouldn’t be integrated.  Well, not in the way the term integration is used.  When the term integration is used in marketing/advertising it’s used to denote that all the work should look the SAME.  Hate to break it to you, but it shouldn’t.  Should a 60 second TV spot look the same as your website?  Gosh, I hope not, since they are two differen’t communication channels.
  7. User-Centric: Similar to user experience.  But, where as user experience has people and companies claiming to be experts of a discipline, user-centric is a philosophy.  For example, user-centric design.  Wait a second, you’re designing for the user?  Isn’t that what we’re paid to do?  If we start designing/creating for ourselves, well you’ll get Orville Deadenbacher and no one wants that.
  8. Web 2.0/3.0: Oh boy, this is a big one.  By my count we’re on version 8 or 9 of the web.  Using the term web 2.0 simply dumbs down the conversation.  Web 2.0 is used as a catch all phrase meant to dumb the conversation down and avoid discussions about technology like APIs, AJAX, embedding, etc.  Instead of creating terms like web 2.0 or web 3.0 (the person at Razorfish that used this should be shot) we should be educating people, especially decision makers, so that everyone is a little smarter.
  9. Media Agnostic: Really?  You don’t care, nor have an opinion on media?  And you have a job?  Wait, and you’re considered smart for being agnostic.  Damn, I want that job.  Media agnostic isn’t a point of differentiation…well not when every company is claiming they are media agnostic.
  10. Thought Leader: I cringe when I hear this term. Wikipedia says, “Thought leader is a buzzword or article of jargon used to describe a futurist or person who is recognized among their peers and mentors for innovative ideas and demonstrates the confidence to promote or share those ideas as actionable distilled insights (thinklets).” Well, even they call it a buzzword. Some how a thought leader is supposed to denote how smart you are and give you instant credibility when you walk into the room. If that’s the case, let’s just change people’s titles to Sr. Thought Leader and Director of Thought Leadership. I’ve me a lot of the supposed thought leaders and I gotta tell you, not impressed. Becoming a thought leader, if we’re going to continue using the term, should be like getting knighted. Only royalty can denote that you are a thought leader. Seeing no other hands, I will take on that role 🙂

My one request for 2009 is not world peace.  It’s please stop using buzzwords and instead be more transparent about your thought leadership when you integrate your micro-blogging, life streaming, and other web 2.0 tools via a media agnostic user experience and user-centric approach to maintaining a dialogue.  Does that make sense?  Good, I didn’t think so…and that’s exactly what you sound like when you talk in buzzword speak.

The Monetization Of Online Video

My inbox has been flooded with links to the recent  New York Times article titled, “YouTube Videos Pull In Real Money.” This is a classic case of the headline grabbing your attention, setting your expectations, but then having the actual article under-deliver. The article focuses on the money being made by people who are creating videos for other people, not people making money just by posting “viral” videos. I could write a novel on this subject, but sometimes it’s just better to let someone else do the talking. This is a clip from a recent episode on Southpark. These guys really get it.

Alanis Morissette Channeled For Hub Spot Video

On of my favorite resources on the web, Hub Spot, launched a a crazy video early this morning that channels Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” I first learned about the vide from Mike Volpe, The VP Inbound Marketing at Hub Spot, on twitter.  The team at Hub Spot does an amazing parody of the song. Parody, might be a loose term. This is on a Wierd Al level. The focus of the video is Inbound Marketing.  Yes you can make the concept of Inbound Marketing into a video parody.

You know what?  Enough with my typing.  Just watch the video and make sure your speakers are on and the volume turned up.

Abbey Road Legos Style

Abbey Road is my favorite Beatles album.  There isn’t one bad sung on the disc.  I stumbled across this great image the other day.  It’s a Legos version of the Abbey Road album cover.  Very cool.  Made me smile.

The Influence Of Video Games

I really hope this is from a real submission.  This person captured the very essence of how I feel about people that think video games are to blame for peoples’ actions.

Who Will Win The War On Words?

At Colle+McVoy, we’ve been having our own election.  The candidates were whittled down, 10s of 100s of 1000s of pennies were spent on advertising, scare tactics were used, and finally today we can cast our vote for “Copywriter.”  Please cast your vote today for Joel Stacy or Brian Ritchie.  Remember, voting is your right as an American.  Make sure your voice is heard and vote today.


The polls do close at 11:59 PM tonight.  We also accept write-in votes.  Just use the commenting option on this post.