Found this photo while digging through old baby photos.
It’s a picture of my Grandfather, an avid fisherman hanging out with me on his farm in New Hampshire. I can only imagine the advice he was imparting on me. You gotta love these candid moments. I’m so glad my dad was there to capture the moment.
I’m stealing from myself with the following paragraph I wrote last December:
In one of the greatest episodes of The Sopranos, ironically titled “Remember When” Tony scolds Paulie for looking back and reminiscing. With such disdain he utters, “remember when is the lowest form of conversation.” When I watched this live on HBO, I recall thinking, “damn that was harsh.” But, the more I think about it, I tend to agree with Tony’s feelings…albeit for different reasons. See, I think the reason remember when is lowest form of conversation is because we should have been talking about the moment…while we’re in the moment…instead of waiting 20 years to talk about that moment. Remembering the moment later on in life instead of giving it the acknowledgement it deserved while it was happening, cheapens the moment…making it the lowest form of conversation.
Well, that’s all fine well and good, but this weekend I got to look through some of my old baby photos and couldn’t believe I was ever this cute.
God, I haven’t aged well. On the plus side though, looking at these photos reinforces that John looks just like me!
It’s tough being a parent. It’s tough to know when to push them, when to let them fly, when to offer advice, when to let them make mistakes, when to coddle and when to be stern. When you do these things is different based on each kid, each situation and each day. There’s a lot of variables to consider and you make a lot of mistakes. You make mistakes all the time. You’d think you’d learn from those mistakes, but no situation is ever the same…you never run into a situation twice. They are all unique.
The relationship you have with your parents changes all the time. One minute they are a disciplinarian, the next your friend, the next your confidant. There were days I wanted to kill my parents and run away from home. Then there were days where I was so thankful that I had such amazing parents.
It’s interesting to go from being someone’s child to having children. You swear that you’ll do things different and better. But, there’s no manual to make sure you’re a great parent. There’s a lot of trial and error. It can be a frustrating experience because you want so much to do the right thing, but you’re never 100% sure what the right thing is.
But, you try. You try to be the best you can be. You try to provide the best guidance you can. And eventually you have to trust that your kids are going to make the right decisions. After all, you’ve given them the foundation. That’s what I love about my parents. They’ve always offered me advice, but trusted that I’d make the right decision because of my strong foundation. Now, the number of times I’ve screwed up, made a mistake or done the opposite of what they’ve asked for is immeasurable. And yet, they’re always supportive. They’re always willing to listen, offer advice and when needed console.
I hope to have the same strength, insight and penchant for knowing when to push them, when to let them fly, when to offer advice, when to let them make mistakes, when to coddle and when to be stern. I hope that one day I prove to be the type of parent I’ve been fortunate to have.
If anyone comes across an official manual, please send it my way!
Technically, John doesn’t turn 1 for 2 more days. His official birthday is June 15. But, we decided to get some family and friends to celebrate his 1st birthday today. John had a blast and to say that he was showered with gifts would be an understatement. It’s clear that John is loved, not only by his parents, but by so many others.
Also, from the looks of it, I think he enjoyed that birthday cake! Nothing like your first taste of sugar and chocolate.
I feel like I’ve been getting that question a lot lately from friends (virtual and real), colleagues and family. Some have been direct. Others have just given me that look that begs for an answer…some response…some indication…some acknowledgement.
95% of the content on this site is geared toward marketing, advertising, social media, interactive and things of a professional nature. Every so often though I’ll sneak in a post about my family. After all they are just as much a part of who I am as the accomplishments I’ve accumulate over the years. But, I know you don’t visit my site for that content. Yet, you tolerate it. With that I ask you to tolerate one more post about my family.
My wife and I are getting a divorce. Yes, a divorce. It’s strange to see that word on the screen. It’s a word I never thought I’d mention in the context of my own marriage. But, there it is.
You know, I hate failing at anything. I hate losing at anything. It doesn’t matter if the stakes are small or large. I simply hate losing. Divorce is the ultimate loss. Because on many levels it’s as if you’ve failed at life. When you get a divorce you’ve failed your significant other, their friends, their family, your friends, your family and your kids. But, most of all, you’ve failed yourself. After all, no one goes into a marriage thinking they’ll get a divorce.
So when you get a divorce it means you’ve failed.
I don’t take failure lightly. I’ve never failed at the same thing twice. It’s never happened and I don’t intend on it happening. As to what that means, I’m not sure…yet.
So am I OK?
You know, as strange as it is, I am. There are people who focus on what things aren’t, instead of what things are. I don’t do that. I’ve know Cheryl for 12 years. We met in Spring of 1998. I often joked that Cheryl new me when I was an asshole and she still married me. And if that ain’t love, what is?
She was my best friend. She picked me off the ground when I failed and pushed me to better than I was the previous day. She was also there to root me on and champion my successes. Cheryl has a tender touch and a big heart. There’s a certain warmth that overtakes a room when she enters. Strangers instantly become charmed and everyone rests at ease. As a mother, there is none better. Our kids know love, compassion and caring. It’s a reassuring fact when I’m not home, on the road and traveling.
No divorce is ever easy regardless of how “civil” or “amicable” it is. Failure in this case doesn’t mean a mistake though. My marriage wasn’t a mistake.
In 7 years of marriage there were good days and bad days. You can’t spend that much time with someone and not have a mix of ups and downs. The biggest ups of course were John and Cora. You can’t help but look at them and know that despite a marriage that ends in divorce, it was worth it and then some. John and Cora are the bridge that will keep us connected and in each other’s lives. For that I’m thankful.
Life is full of changes. This is just another one. Change while often difficult can be a good thing. I’m convinced that this will eventually be something I can look back on and know that while difficult, was a good thing.
Every once in a while I like to stop talking about marketing, advertising, the web, social, etc. and talk about my two awesome kids, Cora and John. People always claim to have the cutest kids in the world. But, I think it’s safe to say, we all know mine are the cutest.
I know it’s not a competition, but it’s still nice to know mine are the cutest 
Happy Easter!
Today, we played hard for charity. The Junior League in Minneapolis organized great event today, Bowling For Books. It’s simple, really. You bring in your books. You trade them in so that kids who are less fortunate can have books. You eat pizza. You drink beer (well the kids didn’t). And, you bowl.
This was Cora and John’s first time bowling. I have to say, they were quite brave. There was no ramp and no bumper guards. Nope. We don’t use enablers or crutches at my house
I love bowling. It’s a simple activity that anyone can play regardless of age. As I was meeting all these new people and watching all these people engage with one another it reminded me of something very important. Real connections, real relationships and real conversations are way better than virtual ones on twitter, Facebook and the like. I mean think about it. You can’t share a beer virtually and have the same REAL effect. That alone makes it a more meaningful activity.
Get out from behind the computer, put the Nexus One down and start engaging in real life. You just might like it.
As you can see from the photos and video below, we had a great time.
We enjoyed the trick or treating…hope you did too.
Kids never stop amazing you. I love capturing photos of Cora “in the moment.” This was taken yesterday on our porch. I love how she’s trying to hide from the camera while clutching her toy cell phone.
You didn’t decide to come into this world. Your mom and I made that choice for you. We also picked your name; hope you like it. We decided to some degree when you’d be born and where. It’s safe to say we made a lot of decisions for you. But, here’s the cool part. You get to decide on what you want to be in this world. That’s not a choice we can make for you. Your mom and I can only guide your decisions; you’ll be the one making many of them.
Being the second child is never easy. You’ll always have to refer to Cora as your “big sister.” Sorry, but it’s the truth. You’ll receive hand me downs. Yes, it’s possible you will be wearing Cora’s clothes, drinking from her bottle, and sleeping in her crib. People will compare you to Cora. They will use her as a reference point. As a matter of fact, you should just start getting used to the idea that everything you do, will be compared to everything Cora already did. Yeah, it’s gonna get old real quick.
However, there is one great advantage to being baby #2. You will not be subjected to the same mistakes we made with Cora. We’ll know to move the coffee table out of the room when you’re learning to walk. We’ll switch to the sensitive formula right off the bat and not wait 4 weeks. When you run a fever, we’ll know that it’s just because you’re teething. It’s kinda like having an upgrade in the parents department
This is an interesting time to be born. The world faces economic and environmental uncertainty. The United States is no longer a globally respected power house. Healthcare is in dire need of reform. The education system continues to fail us. Our politicians care more for themselves than they do the people of this nation; yes including you. Did I say interesting? Sorry, I meant depressing.
With so much wrong in this world, you might wonder why then are you here. Your birth, much like your sister’s, restores hope and faith that two people can truly create something wonderful. You are here because we all need to believe that the next generation will be better than the previous. You are here because someone will need to right our wrongs. You are here to make a difference. You are here because Cora deserves the type of friend that cares for her as much as they care for themselves.
Heavy stuff, I know. Don’t worry you won’t have to do it alone. You will have two parents that love you unconditionally, a sister that will become your best friend, and an extended family that wants you to succeed.
We promise you that the best that we can provide, you shall receive. We will take an interest in your interests and make them our own. Like sturdy oak trees, we won’t bristle at the first sign of a storm. Our only goal is to ensure you reach your full potential. Remember that, when we ground you for staying out past curfew.
Welcome. You are loved.
Interactive marketer, innovator, boat rocker, continuous learner, movie lover, risk taker, dad and all around good guy. I'm always up for a spirited conversation. These are my thoughts and ramblings, not those of my employer.
