Last night I was sitting on the couch alone rocking out to my itunes library. As is customary the playlist was set to shuffle. Following Sweet Child Of Mine was a familiar offering from Simon & Garfunkel: Fakin’ It. These seemed most appropriate as it was a topic I’d been thinking about for the past week or so. I tell ya, iTunes can be scary sometimes with how it picks just the right song.
Have you ever been in a meeting or had a conversation with someone where you completely disagree with what’s being said, yet you nod your head in agreement because everyone else seems to be doing it? Well that my friends, is faking it.
I don’t know why people fake it. Well, ok, that’s a lie. I know why people fake it because I found myself faking it recently. Given the outcome of the situation, in retrospect, faking it was a bad idea. It’s rare that I fake it and I hadn’t done it in years, but there was again making the same mistake I promised myself I wouldn’t make again.
Anyhow, faking it just doesn’t add up, as it often leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouth. We all fake it. Are you a beer person who orders wine at dinner because your significant other prefers wine? Well, you’re faking it. Do you say what you think an interviewer wants to hear or what you really think? If you checked the box for what the interviewer wants to hear, you are faking it. Have you backed an idea because you didn’t want to be the only person in the room not supporting it? Congrats, you’re faking it. Order a salad when you’re out with coworkers, but really want the burger? You are faking it. Feign interest in going dress shopping, when what you really want is to stay home and watch the game. Guess what, you’re faking it.
Perhaps the greatest example of why faking it makes no sense is in the dating world. The match.com’s of the world promise you happiness if you play by the rules. The rules of course are the information you share about yourself and what you want. If you indicate you like foreign films, long walks and wine tasting, when in fact you don’t, you can be assured of being matched with someone incompatible. Well, I’m sure you’re saying, “thank you captain obvious.” But, if it’s so obvious, why do so many people do it? Is it because we lack the courage to stand by our convictions? Is it because we are embarrassed by the truth? Perhaps. But, I think it’s because we’ve been conditioned from an early age to be agreeable.
Being agreeable is what we are supposed to do. Don’t rock the boat, keep everyone happy and make sure to “play well” with others. Ugh. That’s what I have to say to that. People think that they’ll be looked at differently, cast aside and branded as a trouble maker if they don’t go along with the crowd. Yet, how many of us are simply yearning for someone to have the confidence to lead us in a different direction. It’s the concept that drew me to Seth Godin’s book, Tribes. People want to be lead, they want a direction, they want to blaze a path forward. Yet, there are too few boat rockers out there.
I fake it. You’ve faked it. We’ve all faked it. Lets stop faking it. I think we’ll be a lot happier if do.
In case you were wondering, these are the lyrics to Fakin’ It:
When she goes, she’s gone.
If she stays, she stays here.
The girl does what she wants to do.
She knows what she wants to do.
And I know I’m fakin’ it,
I’m not really makin’ it.
I’m such a dubious soul,
And a walk in the garden
Wears me down.
Tangled in the fallen vines,
Pickin’ up the punch lines,
I’ve just been fakin’ it,
Not really makin’ it.
Is there any danger?
No, no, not really.
Just lean on me.
Takin’ time to treat
Your friendly neighbors honestly.
I’ve just been fakin’ it,
I’m not really makin’ it.
This feeling of fakin’ it–
I still haven’t shaken it.
Prior to this lifetime
I surely was a tailor.
(“Good morning, Mr. Leitch.
Have you had a busy day?”)
I own the tailor’s face and hands.
I am the tailor’s face and hands and
I know I’m fakin’ it,
I’m not really makin’ it.
This feeling of fakin’ it–
I still haven’t shaken it
Interactive marketer, innovator, boat rocker, continuous learner, movie lover, risk taker, dad and all around good guy. I'm always up for a spirited conversation. These are my thoughts and ramblings, not those of my employer.
